You can see the change in dad over the last two years. I remember how early on he just wanted to die himself, 'It would be an honour' he once said. It sounds more perturbing now than it did then. I think he's undergone a rather dramatic shift and is now petrified of dying. He may feel he has so much to do in the wake of Phil's death, he may not want to put us all through another death or he may just want to be alive, I don't suppose there's any real need for justification. Phil always liked to be ahead of the field and he liked high tech gadgetry. I often look round at the changes he has missed out on, the mass marketing of mobiles, the change from 081 to 0181, batteries that show their chargeabilty level. Behind a woman in the newsagents queue today I heard her ask for "Two lucky dips, a Mystic Meg and a Grow on Trees".